Unicorns can’t fly. I can’t fly. Therfore, I am a unicorn.
I stepped on a crab and it cut the bottom of my foot.
I do not understand how my room gets so messy when all I do is lay in my bed.
I just tasted something really gross.
I am so sunburnt
I love my pillow so much. I think I have an unhealthy relationship with it.
This mosquito bite is like right on my butt so it makes it really awkward when I want to itch it.
I have to pee so bad but I’m too lazy
I love my ass for helping me have the ability to sit.
I like being home because then I don’t have to wear pants…or a bra.